Worry

Worry. It’s one of my greatest battles.  Here is my definition of worry: It is  believing that a very trustworthy God who has never made a mistake or failed in any way has suddenly become incapable of handling my situation! Remember this is my defintion.  I have been through tremendous trials and have been able to set aside my worry and fear and place my trials in God’s hands many times over the years but on a daily basis it has become a constant enemy.

I have 2 cats Arthur and Colonel Mustard. Earlier this summer Colonel Mustard was missing for about 36 hours. Both cats are just over a year old and neutered so they generally stay at home. As the hours went on and I couldnt find my cat, my anxiety increased and so did my imagination.  I prayed repeatedly. I lost a cat a year ago and it was a very traumatic event to go through.  My husband John, and daughter Anne both told me to stop worrying. The next day Colonel Mustard came running to me when i called and I realized how pointless my worry had been and how fruitless my day had been because of the anxious state I had allowed myself to get wrapped up in.

Years ago when I was  pregnant with my 4th daughter Joy, the doctor called and told me some tests I had indicated a strong possibility that my baby had Down’s syndrome. It was like opening the door and allowing worry to enter.  We went to see a genetic counselor to learn about the odds.  I’m pretty sure the devil is in charge of statistics! We walked into her office and she introduced herself. Her name was Grace.  I knew the Lord was there in that room that day! We made a decision to do the amniocentesis test to determine for certain if it was Down’s syndrome.  I had the test done several days later and they told me to expect results in a week! What? A week was way too long.  My capacity to worry would be on overload! I had a rough week.  Every waking moment was consumed with doubts, fears and worry. It went from bad to worse.  That week ended with no word from the hospital. It was now Saturday and I knew they couldn’t call until Monday at the earliest.  I woke up that cold November day to a cold house. The heat wasn’t working.  We had a heat pump at the time which worked from the well water.  John began digging outside where the well is to find the source of the problem.

It was late afternoon and I decided to go into town to take a break from the cold house. As I drove closer to town my car started shutting down. The radio shut off, the lights dimmed and finally the car coasted to a stop. We didn’t have cell phones at this point in history, so I called a friend from a pay phone. She took me home and I went into the very cold house and knelt down by the couch and burst into tears.  I prayed a very simple but very desperate  prayer. I was so filled with worry about my unborn baby and so overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding me that I knew I needed to hear from my Heavenly Father.  I heard that still small voice speak to me to pick up my bible.  I picked it up and opened it.  It fell open to a scripture in Jeremiah that said “I will give it health and cure” and a few verses later it said “It will be to me a name of Joy!”  Wow! a supernatural thing had taken place and the worry in my heart was replaced with peace.  I stopped thinking about that call from the hospital which didn’t come for another week at the end of a Friday afternoon.  When I answered the phone and was told they had the results, I told the person that I already knew that all was well. My worry had ended a week earlier! A wise minister once said “do you want me to worry with you or pray with you? It was good advice!!!!