A Brain Tumor is not a Death Sentence

This is part 2 of my brain tumor story. After the doctor walked in the room and announced that I had a brain tumor, I simply responded, “okay where do I go next?” I didn’t show any emotion and I didn’t ask any questions. I think in another time and another place I would have broken down. I had just been through three long years of serious illness and an endless stream of doctor appointments so it affected me in a different way. It seemed like just another item on my to do list.

The doctor told me I needed to see a neurosurgeon, the tumor was at least an inch in diameter and was called a meningioma. I checked out and went to my car. John, my husband, had texted me three different times wondering what was taking so long. I texted him this message, “bad news, I have a brain tumor”. I knew I had approximately 3 minutes before he called and I did my best to compose myself. When he called, I briefly broke down in tears as we discussed the situation. Since I hadn’t asked the doctor any questions, I wasn’t very informed and after a few minutes we hung up. As I drove there were many terrifying thoughts going through my mind. I wondered if this would be the end of my life? Would I not have the opportunity to see all of my children grow up or the birth of my next grandchild due in March? As the thoughts swirled in my mind I knew I had to take control of them. I made a decision that I was going to go through this trial with a good attitude, a positive assurance that God was with me and there was no need or place for worry. I decided I needed a plan. The first was to go online and educate myself about the tumor so I could combat my fears. The second was to find the best neurosurgeon in the state of Michigan, to do the surgery.

For so many months I had been feeling like Job and had read the scriptures extensively about his trials. I had begun to realize the faith that Job possessed was very progressive.  No matter what happened to him, He just kept pressing through it with no support from anyone. He had a supernatural revelation of who God was. We read the book of Job and we already know the end of the story. Job didn’t know and yet persevered through all the hardships to victory. It was a powerful lesson, reading about this remarkable man. I had been praying for the faith that Job possessed and I think that day I realized I could only get what he had by going through what he went through. I had already been through a tragic fire, financial trials with our business due to our ailing economy, 3 years of sickness, which included 3 surgeries, 4 hospitals, 25 doctors and the Mayo Clinic.

When I got home that day, I briefly told my 14 year old daughter Anne, that I had a brain tumor and I went upstairs to my laptop. I looked up meningioma. The first article I read was called, ” a brain tumor is not a death sentence”. I read about 6 articles and felt very comforted afterwards. I learned that these tumors are almost always benign, usually are easy to remove since they are in the lining of the brain and don’t cause ongoing problems. These tumors are most common in women between 40-60. Most of them (just like mine) were asymptomatic. They are usually found by accident due to lack of symptoms.

I put my computer away and I never went on it again before my surgery. I didn’t want to read anything that would discourage me. I was satisfied that everything would be fine and my faith would sustain me. I made a few phone calls to my daughter’s and close friends and of course everyone was shocked. I realized that when you find out someone has a brain tumor you expect the worst. I had already been through so much from the Epstein Barre virus and I knew I couldn’t think devastating thoughts about this situation and I never did.

Stay tuned for part 3!